created on june 11

"lately"

you gain some you lose some

that's how i've been feeling

been present at events where i learn about issues i care about

been absent at home where i don't know what my love is thinking

or what my daughter is fearing

been lining myself up to expand my professional network in

communities of color, by attending workshops, trainings, and

committees to reflect, dialogue, strategically plan actions for

change.

been absent to see my daughter wake up in the morning,

see her eat, see her laugh, see her learn, see her teach me

about the things she wonders about

been oblivious to the conversations that love instigates

to show concerns, care, and steps to move forward

been thinking about the efforts i put forth to show love,

comments that i say that hurt more than make a point,

actions i do that speak what i don't say and

are not connected to the intentions in my heart.

uncertain about my courage most times,

as fear overwhelms my thoughts at night

at day, at work, at home

all stirring my heart towards a deeper purpose,

that still scares me.

all reminding me of truths and lies

community

family

self

which one comes first?

32 years and 1 week old.

spent my birth day at home.
painting, giggling, cooking, baking, relaxing, reflecting.. and chatting with my daughter.

this past year reminded me how fragile life is.

this coming year, i will:
*make people i love and care about - my priority. other "things" can wait.
*hit reset - and start at setting goals that align with the dreams in my heart.
*be nicer to my body and my soul.
*have more fun.

i just realized that i am 32 just once in my life.
live in all of it.