life at light speed

living life at the speed of light.

that's what it feels like.
a constant rush of excitement,
chased by squeaking urgent anxiety.

Not the greatest combination.

what i ask for is aligning in my path..
and i know it'd be foolish to ignore.

so help me. remind me.

to breathe, to be grateful.
to live all i can
before life ends on its own terms.

DC

Leaving for DC on June 1st for NCORE (National Conference on Race & Ethnicity) with 4 students & a colleague. Looking forward to the week-long conference, dialogues, reflections - and DC sights, foods, company, and memories.

Last time I was in DC was in 9th grade for a weeklong program for youths who were "New" Americans - learned about the government, making and passing a bill, shook hands with President Clinton, and debated with MN House Rep (at the time) about why we couldn't use the money for the infamous ice castles towards resources and shelters for the homeless. I remember not getting sick because the program staff made sure we had a gallon of water & cups in every room - and made sure that we were constantly hydrated. Very empowering experience, for a 14 year old.

DC in the horizon.

my happy place

my happy place = the farmer's market

weekend morning routine
in spring and summer

excitement & joy
at the vision of
fresh fruits
and vegetables
roasted corn with butter
loaded brats - with slices of green, yellow, red peppers
fresh squeezed lemonade and limeade

traffic jam by feet
surround sounds and chatters
adding to the chaos

plants, flowers, herbs
handmade soaps, utensils,
jewelry, clothes, creations
and treats
adding to the calm peace

a happy peace that is all mine

breathe

lately i've forgotten
often

to breathe

stress of work and school,
and millions of deadlines,
events, papers, letters,
applications
to read, to meet, to revise,
to attend, to speak at.

and breathe.

Waking up before the sun
Resting after the sun

and breathe.

Coffee, coffee,
bagel,
Coffee, coffee,
meal on the go
Coffee, coffee,

and breathe.

Can't wait til mid-June
when school's out
work slows down

to breathe
the sun, green grass,
blue sky, my garden,
walks around the lake..

(sigh)

life w/o cable

since adopting the iphone,
we've had to let go of our cable.

no more hgtv creations
or travel destinations

i miss most my monday night
anthony bourdain marathon
his witty remarks
but truthful reflections
about the connection of
life, food, humanity.

but all is not lost,
tpt (public television) is helping with the
cooking itch on saturday
mornings, and my nainai
is quite content with her
options of curious georce,
super why, martha speaks,
sesame street, and sid the science
kid.

the iphone's not too bad
either. :-)

try

i dare you

try
juggling work, school, family, friends,
your feelings, your thoughts, your fears,
your hopes, your dreams,
and everyone's 2 cents
about who you are, what you look like,
what you think, what you feel, what and who
you should be, and always who still is better than
you.

try
understanding the physical, mental, emotional,
psychological pain, drain, slain that comes with being
a woman in this world, then

try
feeling the anger, disbelief, disappointment, disrespect,
that feeds the fire
that burns
the silent indifference, hate, injustice, oppression, depression,
that must change.

try
speaking, shouting, stating, standing, challenging,
being, leading, feeling, seeing, acknowledging,
empowering, supporting, dreaming, validating,
wishing, acting, educating, connecting, believing
in the possibilities
of justice
peace
love
hope
and truth.

i dare you,
to not give up.

an open letter to broken hearts

remember to breathe.

remember that we love you.

remember to love yourself.

i know that you're going through a hard time right now.

it's probably draining you emotionally, physically, and mentally..

but what will get you through this whole ordeal is..

yourself.

i can promise you that no matter what we say.. things in your life will never change until

you decide it.

i can tell you that during my darkest moments -- i had to believe and trust that

my life would be better.. that my heart would love again.. that i would smile, and eat,

and sleep again. the hard part is believing it - hope is what will get you through this.

it always suprises me when the universe turns around

and works hard at lining up the stars for me.

that's when things start to make sense..

when i realize that your life is truly in your hands.

you've got to trust yourself. and your life.

and know that your life still has many days, weeks, months, and years to live.

this is one "piece" .. one "story" .. of your life.. it does not define your life. you.

or him.

life happens the way it does - because it's trying to tell you something important.

sometimes, life shifts drastically because it needs you to realize that you've got to love yourself

first.

we never know what the future brings.. but i believe that if you do things right - the first time around - your life will rightly come. trust & believe.

.. do something nice for yourself today. take a walk. eat a piece of chocolate.

or cake. :-).. smile.. do something you wished you could have done - but haven't done.

here's a quote that gets me through hard times - i hope it'll speak to you too.

"life does not put things in front of you that you are unable to handle"

"the bird doesn't sing because it has an answer - it sings because it has a song."

.. believe. have courage.